—All dating stories are completely anonymous—
I was dating this guy from the South.
Dallas, Texas to be exact.
At first, I fell head over heels.
He was such a gentleman. He would call me “sugar,” which only worked for him because if anyone else ever called me sugar, I’d punch them. But he was so cute when he said it.
He pretty much broke all the rules.
He wore flannels and cowboy boots, he drove a big truck and somehow managed to get dirt on it in Southern California.
These are all things I would have run away from before meeting him but suddenly I thought it was all so cute.
Then, Christmas came.
I got him an apple watch because I’m the bomb.com and then I opened my gift.
Uhm, I’m sorry, what the actual f.
When I first saw it, I physically jumped out of my seat and ran into the other room.
For some reason I just had this weird CSI crime plot scene painted in my mind and thought this was the moment I was going to be murdered.
When I finally calmed down and came back into the room he looked so confused.
He said, “babe, you have to pack heat.”
What?! No-no, I don’t.
I feel safe where I live and God knows if I actually owned this thing, I’d end up accidentally shooting my own foot one day.
Anyways, this was the beginning of the end.
Suddenly all the gross things I thought were cute like him spitting dip made me want to gag.
We broke up soon there after.
Three months later he was engaged to a girl from his hometown and I can’t confirm they aren’t actual cousins.
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