–All Douchebag Stories are completely anonymous–
I was dating this guy who was pretty successful in business and finance.
The problem was that he didn’t know how to turn it off.
We’d go on dates and he’d send me an email confirmation with the time and location before as if I couldn’t remember the details myself.
He’d also call to confirm in the morning and ask if I had any questions about anything.
One time we joked about going skydiving together and he pulled out a notebook to list the pros and cons. I kid you not. An effing venn diagram.
I liked him a little but could tell it wasn’t really going anywhere after a few months.
I assumed we’d kinda just stop talking and both realize we’re better as friends.
But nope. Not this guy.
He wanted to talk about it-via business call.
He texted me, “Hey, wondering if you have some time tomorrow around 3pm to talk about “us”. I have a few meetings but tentatively put you in my schedule if you’re available.”
I’m sorry, what? Are you breaking up with me or am I being fired from a job?
I didn’t reply because I didn’t want to deal with it but sure enough at 3pm sharp the next day he called.
He proceeded to list off the bullet points he had come up with as to why we don’t work together. He said he could send over a copy to me if I was interested.
LOL nah I’m good. Thanks dawg.
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