—All “Douchebag Stories” are completely anonymous.—
Here’s a story about a guy who should win an Academy Award for his acting ability.
So, I thought I had a boyfriend.
You know…the guy that makes sure he tells even the check out girl at the grocery store how crazy he is about you. He was into it.
I assumed this was obviously exclusive. Duh.
Who’s that in love with more than one girl?
So we’re hanging out one night at his place. We’re watching a movie. Super casual night.
But then, a BRICK comes flying through the window! Yea, a real brick. Window shattered. I’m in shear panic.
“Who is that?!” I’m screaming. “Who would do that?! What’s happening?!”
He says, “I have no idea!”
I run into the back of the house because I’m scared and he goes out the front door to assess the situation.
Then, to my surprise, I find him outside explaining who I am to his GIRLFRIEND who had just thrown the brick through the window.
I figured the safest option was to sneak out the back door and never speak to him again for fear that chick would find me with more than a brick the next time.
A year after the debacle, I see that he and the brick thrower got married.
Who knew? Bricks seem to be a huge symbol of love for a douchebag.
—-Send your douchebag stories to firstname.lastname@example.org—-